Garpo crouched in the dirt amongst the horses, which both reminded him of home and smelled better than the human cesspit where he found himself. To pass the time, he admired the notches he’d made in his father’s old sword. The nicked edge from Arche Valley was especially impressive, acquired when he’d struck the nail-studded skull of an Orc chieftain’s bodyguard. His little band of mercenaries had done well that day, a hundred brass bits, which was almost unheard of for a dirty band of goblins. Of course, Erbe and Kocochu were dead now, betrayed by Neikun for those very coins. This is why Garpo sat amongst the horses in front of a stinking tavern in the Creep, trying not to feel jealous of the human Lars, who was allowed into Otraxis and had gone looking for work(1).

Garpo the Goblin. What a stupid name. Back in the khanates they’d called him Guzzling Garpo, or Garpo the Gorger, never ‘goblin’, ‘stinker’ or ‘shorty’ like they did here. In those days Garpo had some weight to him, a big boss-belly to frighten the children and attract the ladies. That was before Garpo’s father insulted the myangan(2) chief and lost his head, forcing Garpo to flee his comfortable life in the camp. Now Garpo was worn and wiry, a veteran of a dozen petty raids and skirmishes. His arbat(2) brothers were dead, his steppe horse was lost and he had finally run out of kumis(3).

It was hard not to feel nervous as he waited for Lars. Garpo had saved the man’s life (quite by accident) as they fought their way out of a caravan ambush along the river Thienne. In the khanates this would earn Garpo a year or two of loyalty, but Lars was a human and humans cheated goblins, that was just the way of the world. Not to mention that Lars claimed to know a wizard – an elven she-wizard – and had promised to bring the filthy witch-thing back here to meet Garpo. Still, they had decided to become treasure hunters and no worthwhile band of ‘diggers’ ever ventured forth without a spell-slinger(4) of some kind. He would meet this tree-loving harpy and perhaps they could even make some money together. Perhaps instead she would die and he and Lars could hold a funeral feast(5). Garpo licked his lips at the prospect. It had been a decade since the khans had signed the Trans-Palir Pact(6), but surely an elf already dead was fair game?

The wiry goblin sheathed his sword. Lars was trotting down the steep stairs into the Creeper village with the blue-eyed she-devil in tow. More importantly Lars’ hardened fingers gripped a small leather purse filled with brass. This meant wine, cheese and if Garpo was lucky, roasted pork, extra rare …

FOOTNOTES

(1) Although tolerated in human lands, goblins are rarely admitted into the city proper. Instead, taverns in the Creep do a roaring trade entertaining them while their human, elf or dwarven allies do business in the city.

(2) The arbat is the smallest unit of khanate military structure, comprising ten goblins (always male, except in the case of the elite female horse-archers). Ten arbats constitutes a zuut (100); ten zuuts make myanghan (1000); and ten myanghans combine into a tumen of 10,000 warriors. A tumen is rarely assembled and is almost always led personally by a khan.

(3) An alcoholic beverage made from fermented mare’s milk. The fermentation process removes the lactose, to which goblins are intolerant.

(4) Spell-slinger is a terrible cliche and I apologise. By all means suggest some better slang.

(5) The funeral feast is probably the most unsavoury custom retained by the goblins, who are otherwise gradually becoming civilised. Instead of burying or burning a dead relative, the deceased goblin will be roasted and consumed by their family, who are said to retain their spirit from then on. The ghosts of goblins who were not feasted upon are said to wander the khanates as evil spirits and feature heavily in goblin folklore.

(6) An inter-racial treaty designed to promote trade in the regions around the Palir Mountains. Among other things, it contained a clause requiring the elves to retract their “death-on-site” policy if the goblins would refrain from eating elf-meat.